Baghban in Real Life: Are We Failing Our Parents?

The relationship between Indian parents and children is built on unconditional love, sacrifice, and lifelong dedication. From the moment a child is born, parents devote their entire existence to ensuring their child’s happiness, often putting their own dreams and well-being aside.

But as life moves forward, priorities change. The same parents who once stayed up at night to comfort their crying child now find themselves sitting alone in the silence of an empty home, waiting for a call or a visit that rarely comes.

The Bollywood movie Baghban (2003) touched millions of hearts by portraying this painful reality. Even today, more than two decades later, its message remains as relevant and heartbreaking as ever. In a world driven by ambition, independence, and modernity, the emotional disconnect between parents and children is growing, leaving many elderly parents feeling abandoned and forgotten.

In this article, we’ll explore the changing dynamics of Indian families, the struggles faced by aging parents, and how we can bring back the love, respect, and care they truly deserve.

The Shift in Indian Family Dynamics: From Togetherness to Separation

India has always been known for its strong family values, with joint families being the foundation of emotional and financial security. Parents, children, and grandchildren all lived under one roof, sharing love, responsibilities, and traditions.

But with modernization, urbanization, and global career opportunities, family structures have changed drastically:

• ✔️ Nuclear Families: Parents and children live separately, weakening emotional bonds.

• ✔️ Migration for Work: Young professionals move to different cities or even countries, leaving elderly parents behind.

• ✔️ Western Influence: The idea of “independence” is now often misunderstood as “distance from family.”

• ✔️ Technological Distraction: Despite easier communication, family conversations have been replaced by screen time.

As a result, emotional gaps have widened, and elderly parents today face more loneliness than ever before.

The Silent Struggles of Aging Parents: More Than Just Physical Pain

Aging parents face multiple challenges—emotional, financial, and psychological—that they often suffer in silence.

Loneliness: The Unseen Wound

• Nothing hurts more than feeling forgotten. Many elderly parents spend their days in isolation, longing for the presence of their children.

Real-Life Story

• A retired professor, 78-year-old Mr. Mehta, lives alone in Delhi while his son works in the US. Every morning, he checks his phone, hoping for a message. Every evening, he sits by the window, watching families walk together. “I don’t want money or gifts. Just a simple call asking, ‘How are you, Papa?’ would mean the world to me,” he says.

Heartbreaking Truth

• According to a study, 65% of elderly parents in India feel lonely, and 30% suffer from depression due to emotional neglect.

Disrespect: When Wisdom Is Ignored

• Indian culture teaches us to honor and respect our elders, yet many parents today feel their advice is dismissed. They are told they are “too old to understand” and often excluded from family decisions.

• It is not about control; it is about inclusion. Even a simple, “What do you think, Mom?” can make parents feel valued.

Financial Dependence and Misuse

Some parents, after spending their entire savings on their children’s education, weddings, and well-being, find themselves financially insecure in old age. Even worse, there are heartbreaking cases where children misuse their parents’ finances.

• Some take over their parents' property without their consent.

• Some control their pensions and savings, using the money for their own luxuries.

• Some refuse to support their parents financially, leaving them in distress.

Shocking Reality

• Elder financial abuse is one of the fastest-growing crimes in India, yet many cases go unreported due to social stigma.

The Rise of Old Age Homes: A Convenience or a Cruelty?

• Old age homes, once considered a last resort, are now becoming more common in India. While some provide decent care, they can never replace the warmth of a family.

Heartbreaking Reality

• A mother in Hyderabad was left at an old age home by her son, who promised to return after his work trip. It’s been five years, and he never came back. She still waits at the gate every evening, hoping to see his face.

Imagine

The hands that once held yours while you learned to walk are now trembling with age, reaching out for love and attention.

A Child’s Responsibility: It’s Never Too Late to Change

• Not all children neglect their parents intentionally. Life gets busy, work is stressful, and responsibilities pile up. But small efforts can make a big difference in making parents feel loved and respected.

Give Them Time—It’s What They Need Most

• No matter how packed your schedule is, 10 minutes a day to talk to your parents can change everything. A phone call, a video chat, or even a short visit can bring a smile to their face.

Respect Their Presence and Opinions

• Parents don’t expect money or gifts. They just want to feel important in your life. Asking for their opinion, involving them in decisions, and treating them with dignity can make all the difference.

Provide Emotional and Financial Security

• Help them manage their savings wisely.

• Ensure they have a safe and comfortable living environment.

• Support them in small ways, even if they don’t ask for it.

Celebrate Small Moments Together

• Parents don’t need grand gestures—they cherish the little things. A homecooked meal, a heartfelt conversation, or watching a movie together can bring them immense joy.

Encourage Them to Stay Socially Active

• Introduce them to hobbies and social groups.

• Help them stay connected with friends and relatives through technology.

• Encourage them to participate in community activities to avoid loneliness.

The Role of Parents: Adapting to Change

While children must prioritize their parents, parents too can take steps to maintain their independence, happiness, and mental well-being.

• Learn new skills and hobbies—Keep life exciting even after retirement.

• Stay financially secure—Have a savings plan to avoid complete dependence.

• Build social connections—Join clubs, engage in activities, and stay active.

Life is short. Parents raise children with love, not expecting anything in return. But what they truly deserve is dignity, respect, and a little bit of time.

💭 Imagine a day when they are no longer there. Will we regret not talking to them more? Will we wish we had spent more time with them?

Let’s not wait for a festival or a special occasion. Pick up the phone, visit them, talk to them, hold their hand, and remind them that they are loved.

Because one day, the roles will reverse, and we will be in their place. Let’s set the right example for future generations. ❤️

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